Robin, Thank you for this opportunity to interview you! You are truly an inspirational woman whose voice needs to be heard. I have been blessed with the opportunity to get to know you and am encouraged by your strength.
Robin Goings founder of Inpowher, a positive movement geared towards helping women and children who have been silence through Domestic Violence regain their power!
Originally from Toledo, Ohio, Robin Goings moved to Hollywood with big dreams of becoming a model/actress, only to find herself trapped in an emotionally abusive marriage. As the result of her tumultuous relationship to a famous comedian, she saw her aspirations as an actress begin to fade, as well as her A+ credit.
Financially, emotionally, and spiritually, she should have been knocked out and defeated. Instead, she remains determined.
Since the divorce, Robin has been featured on the cover of Heart & Soul magazine and is often sought after for appearances and interviews.
Her quest will include an inspirational anthology titled “Invisible Wife” and a congressional bill. Robin Goings is determined to make sure that her tribulations not be in vain.
To learn more about Inpowher please contact Robin Goings:
Sign her petition at: www.ipetitions.com/petition/robingoings/
Also you can follow her on Twitter at: RobinGoings or find her on Facebook at: Robin Goings.
- Robin, please describe what happened to you financially once your ex-husband filed for divorce?
- How do you believe the Judicial System failed you?
- How much did the divorce cost you emotionally, spiritually, and financially?
- What were the top 5 mistakes you made during your divorce? And if you had known what resources would have helped you avoid these mistakes?
- What types of professionals or resources did you find most helpful during your divorce? Also which professionals or resources would you have liked to have access to during your divorce?
- What advice would you give to women who are contemplating divorce?
- How did you come up with the name Inpowher and who inspired you to start this movement?
- How can Inpowher help women who have no voice remain determined to overcome adversity and rebuild?
- Lastly, What would you do differently prior to getting married again?
1. Please describe what happened to you financially once your ex-husband filed for divorce?
For the sake of this question, I MUST go backwards before I proceed to answer this question. Before my ex-husband filed for divorce he closed out all of our joint bank accounts, cancelled all of my credit cards and told our business manager Not to discuss any money matters with me. Therefore, when my ex-husband filed for divorce I was already at a financial disadvantage. Especially, since he didn’t want me to work and I was a stay-at-home mom. Once he filed for divorce I was already scrambling to pick up the pieces. I had to figure out a way to get into court to get some emergency orders put in place because whatever the court ordered was all that we had to survive.
2. How do you believe the judicial system failed you?
The Judicial system did nothing for my children and me. My ex-husband makes well over a million dollars a year and was basically able to abandon his family. The legal system allowed this to happen because he was ordered to pay my attorney which he wasn’t doing. And even though it was ordered it was NEVER enforced. Therefore, there was no way that I could get a forensic accountant. He was able to do this because he gets paid most of the time in cash and wasn’t paying his taxes. Most of the time during our four year court appearances he was in contempt of court, behind on his court ordered child support and nothing ever happened. Everything was in my name. I lost the house which was part of his plan and everything else including my excellent credit score. House was foreclosed and I ended up filing bankruptcy. We almost ended up in a shelter because he filed a restraining order preventing me from taking our son out of state. The restraining order prevented me from taking my children to my parent’s house in Ohio where we had a place to live and a loving family. I ended up worse off had I Not even answered the petition at all. The Judicial system allowed him to walk away and make his family suffer. The legal system left us homeless and darn near penniless. Our bogus settlement was even based on what he claims he can afford instead of his income.
3. How much did the divorce cost you emotionally, spiritually and financially?
My divorce cost me more than words can describe emotionally, spiritually and financially. I have been out of court for almost two years now and still recovering and healing. I talk about this in my soon to be released book “The Invisible Wife (Inpowher).” I wanted to throw the towel in and give up at times. I had dark thoughts of suicide because I’d become clinically depressed. Four years in court can take a toll on anyone. It was God who kept me through daily prayer and just putting all of my trust in him. Mentally and emotionally I was drained. I was broken spiritually and feeling financial whiplash which I’m still experiencing today. I feel like the legal system is designed to snatch any bit of hope from the person who is not financially equipped and further victimizes the victim. The legal system felt like it was all about money and power. The very same thing my ex-husband used and continues to use to try to control me financially.
4. What were the top five mistakes you made during your divorce? And if you had known what resources would have helped you avoid these mistakes?
Does NOT getting married at all count? I made lots of mistakes because divorce was foreign to me prior to me ending up in the middle of a nasty divorce. I am the product of high school sweethearts who just celebrated their 47th wedding anniversary on the 27th of June. I didn’t see men not taking care of their families growing up.
- Mistakes that I made…
- I hired the first attorney that I met because I was so desperate for help
- Agreed to refinance our house during the divorce
- Believed that my ex-husband was going to do right or eventually do right
- Trusted my lawyer
- Thought the legal system was going to at least be fair as it related to a mother and her children
I would have gotten with a financial planner who could have suggested different things as far as finances before, during and after divorce. I would have interviewed at least five or more attorneys and requested to talk to former clients who may not have had a smooth divorce and how they helped them. Hiring a lawyer can be tricky because everyone says “they can” just as my lawyer did only for him to quit in the middle. I didn’t even know that a lawyer could quit on you. I would have demanded a forensic accountant which was of dire need in my case.
5. What types of professionals or resources did you find most helpful during your divorce? Also, which professionals or resources would you have liked to have access to during your divorce?
I didn’t find any of the professionals helpful during my divorce and there was most definitely a lack of resources because of the one sided financial strain on me. Plus, the fact that paralegals are pretty much nonexistent. I couldn’t get the resources that I needed. I would have liked to have access to a financial planner, forensic accountant, someone who really enforced the well being of my son, an attorney who actually fought for the well-being of us and a mandatory drug test. These resources alone would have caused me to have a different outcome. Instead my ex-husband was able to manipulate the system while violating the laws on the grounds of he is my son’s father. Meaning he did nothing he was suppose to do court order or not but because he’s my sons father he still had rights. Not to mention, drugs were an issue.
6. What advice would you give women who are contemplating divorce?
You must always from day one have all of your paperwork in order. Hire a financial planner; interview at least 5 attorneys if not more. You need a team of individuals who truly care and it’s more about the heart and doing right then about the greed and the money. The financial planner can help you with the things that can be done before, during and after the divorce process. If you’re able to—use a mediator instead of an attorney which will save you a lot of money. The focus should always be on the well being of you and your children in the long run. Instead of the money and greed of the lawyers. I’m not saying that a great lawyer shouldn’t get paid but a great lawyer makes sure their clients are well taken care of especially the one with the children.
7. How did you come up with Inpowher and who inspired you to start this movement?
Inpowher was birthed out of pain I endured from a turbulent marriage and a debilitating divorce from a system that weakens abandoned families. Inpowher is a voice for women who have been silenced through Domestic Violence. I want to make sure that every woman’s voice in Not only heard but more importantly, they have the tools, confidence and power to take back control of their lives. I not only heard the stories of hurt, pain & abuse but I’ve lived and felt it. I wanted to make a difference. The many hurting woman inspired me to Champion For Change. I won’t stop until I see my legislative bill passed which deals with better accounting as it relates to abandonment and child support, drastic changes are made as it relates to Domestic Violence & a legal system that works at helping families who are in dire need instead of further causing them to struggle unnecessarily.